YEAR 3 RECAP
Tim and I just celebrated our 3 year marriage anniversary, and each year I’m more and more surprised. I’m not surprised because we made it this far, but i’m surprised that each year I love Tim more?!?!?! You would think that after 7 years of being together, things get mundane, and don’t get me wrong, I would not classify our lives/marriage as very exciting, but there are things i’m learning about Tim each year, memories we’re making, and ways we’re growing that make it exciting and new. This year, I think I learned more about how Tim and I function as parents. It’s been a humbling experience but I’ve felt a new love for Tim that I think I could only experience because we’re raising Maddy together. For this post, I’m just going to quickly recap 3 of my favorite memories from this year!
3 Of My Favorite Memories
There are a LOT of memories to pick from, but I made Tim a scrapbook for our anniversary so I think I’ve limited it to these 3! These will also be specific to me and Tim because if I include memories with Maddy, there are tooooo many to count!
1. OUR MOVE TO OUR NEW HOME!
We are still renting, but we moved from a 2 bedroom townhouse to a 4 bedroom townhouse and there was a very distinct memory right after our movers drove away in their big truck that is near and dear to my heart. As the movers left, I just stood there and looked at Tim and thought to myself…” wow… did we just do our first big family thing?”
It’s so funny because I’ve moved around so much as a kid. I even called myself a nomad in college because I lived out of suitcases and never knew how to answer the question of where home was. I was either visiting my sister and brother in law, or on a flight to visit my parents in Texas… but I never actually lived in the cities or homes they lived in then. I didn’t mind it, but when you move a lot as a kid, I think you learn to not become attached to the building as much as you become attached to the people. But after we had Maddy, and as we outgrew our little townhouse, I fully recognized that we were leaving our first home together. We were leaving the first place I lived with Tim, the first place we brought Maddy home to, and the home that held so many special memories with our friends and family.
The move wasn’t easy. Moving with a baby is not something I recommend (but also we did it, which means you can too haha). We actually fought a lot, we were tired, cranky, stressed. All the things. But the day the movers came to take our boxes and furniture, and moved it into our new place, something just felt so right.
My sister helped us watch Maddy that day (SOOO HELPFUL THANK YOU JEH) so it was just me and Tim for a little and I remember distinctly this burst of love I felt for Tim. We were looking at our home from outside in silence and for the first time ever, I looked at a home with new possibilities. I was excited for all the friends we’d host in the future. I was excited that this is the home Maddy will likely remember living in when she thinks of her first home. I imagined her playing in the front in the grass, and thought about her and Tim planting a garden together in the back. How lucky am I to build a home with Tim.
We’ve been in the new home now for 6 months and we love it. We love our community, we love that it is a home that Maddy is running all around. We love our neighbors and we love how close we are to our community park. In our short 6 months, we’ve made a new place our home and it’s still not complete and that’s exciting too.
2. Tim meeting my grandma in Hong Kong!
This was a very special trip. It wasn’t easy… traveling 15 hours with a 8 month old, and jet lag…. I swear jet lag was more difficult for me than the weeks after having Maddy HAHA but there are many distinct moments on the trip where my heart was just so happy.
If I were to zone in on ONE specific moment in Hong Kong, it would be a family dinner we had in Hong Kong at my uncle’s apartment. In Hong Kong, the apartments are tiny but that does not deter them from fitting 15+ family members into one space to share a meal. If you’re not familiar with Tim, he’s a 6’3″ kind of guy who, understandably, likes his space. So I think I was a little nervous that he’d feel too crammed in the small apartment. I wasn’t sure if he’d like the food that was being made, and I wanted to make sure he was comfortable despite the language barrier. We were celebrating my sister’s birthday, and my family burst into the loudest Happy birthday song. I LOVED IT. hahaha I thought it was so fun to see all my aunts and uncles happily singing to my sister. In that moment, I wasn’t sure what to expect when I looked at Tim, but while we were singing, I looked over at him, and his smile was SO genuine. He was happily clapping along and swaying side to side, fully embracing the craziness.
Even now as I’m writing this, I don’t know how to summarize the feeling but I’m tearing up. I love my family in Hong Kong, but the reality is that I don’t see them very often. Each time I go back, my cousins have more kids, my aunts and uncles are older, my grandma is getting older, and sadly, we’ve even lost aunts and uncles along the way. Every moment feels extra special even if it’s chaotic. So to see Tim enjoying himself and being a part of my family… just felt so right. This was a core memory that I will take with me for a long time.
3. RAMEN DATE!
There was a VERY rainy night where Tim and I decided we were both a little hungry and excitedly made the decision to have a midnight ramen date on our front porch. I think this was a core memory of year 3 for multiple reasons.
For starters, I realized this date reminded me how fun it is to spend time together, especially alone! It didn’t have to be us going anywhere or getting away from Maddy (she was asleep upstairs) but it was very intentional time spent together. We watched the rain, we talked about Maddy and topics other than Maddy (haha). We giggled and smiled and we ate till our bellies were warm and full. This midnight date reminded me that it’s truly such a blessing to be married to my best friend. Sure, he drives me crazy at times and I drive him crazy even more of the time, but we have so much fun together and we’re on the same team. I love that even though Maddy is such a large part of our marriage, we can also still find time with just us two.
I didn’t know what marriage would be like post baby, but I definitely didn’t think we’d share these kinds of moments together. But we had more than just this ramen night! We did board game escape rooms, we watched movies, we watched TV shows. We ate many late night meals and we also just sat next to each other on our phones, or near each other in our computer rooms. I loved what this night symbolized and I love that marriage still has fun moments like this.
Year 3 was not short of new difficulties as well. We definitely had more to fight about (you realize you have a lot of opinions when you’re raising a little human together), and we were more tired than we’ve ever been in our lives. This meant we were more short with one another and had less time to spend together. Sometimes we were bad at affirming one another and sometimes it felt like we were competing when in reality, we’re on the same team! But we made it through and we fought and worked through every little silly fight and we grew. We had more happy moments than we’ve ever had together, and we love each other more deeply than we did the other 2 years. Tim wrote me a letter for our anniversary, and I won’t share too much of it, but he said that this year he felt more sad than he’s ever felt, but he’s also experienced more love and joy than he’s ever felt before too. I used to get nervous when he told me he was sad, but I get it now. I’m learning that it’s okay to grieve when you think of the past, but it’s also so important to keep hoping and looking forward at the future and what is present.
So in summary, we made it! 3 years of marriage and many more until God calls us home. God stretches both of us daily through one another, but he also loves us through one another daily. Tim and I talked about our hopes and prayers for this upcoming year, and maybe i’ll share them later, but we’re ready for year 4! I used to think anniversaries weren’t a big deal, and yeah, I definitely don’t expect a big present (but Tim is a gifts guy so thank you so much for my airpod max hahaha), or flowers, but Tim has taught me to appreciate celebrating these moments because it’s something WORTH celebrating!
I’ll end with a funny story but when we were thinking about how we wanted to celebrate year 3, we talked about an overnight trip, or going to universal studios without Maddy but at the end of the day, we decided we wanted to celebrate year 3 by taking Maddy to the aquarium for the first time (even if it meant she didn’t appreciate it hahah). But it was so worth it! She loved looking at the fish and sea lions and experiencing it all with her was so very special. Tim’s mom watched Maddy for dinner and we were debating where to go for dessert, but we ended up wanting to go see Maddy HAHA so we brought home pie and ate it together with Tim’s family. I love that our marriage is evolving even if it’s not the same as it was before.
We are two broken and sinful people so our marriage is far from perfect. But where we fall short, we are reminded we need Christ even more. So here we go!!! What a joy it is to be married, what a blessing it is to be Tim’s wife, and I LOVE YOU TIMOTHY!!!! 🙂
